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Ch. 11 - i was in this joe jonas mess again...
ella's pov
i listened to every word joe said. and i kept looking into his eyes as he said them. he looked sincere. and being friends was safe, right? i didn't want to be hurt again. i let out a loud sigh and slowly nodded my head yes.
- okay, friends, i said and i watched a huge grin spread across joe's face. wow. he must've felt worse about last year then i thought. but seeing he was a good guy, it wasn't that hard to believe. the fact that he didnt love me as i loved him wasn't what was wrong. it was just the way he behaved. but i couldn't really blame him for that either. he was head over heels for riley back then. and maybe he still was... or maybe he wasn't? i looked deeper into his eyes, squinting a little. ugh! it was so hard to tell what was in there. but why would i care about that if we were going to be just friends? because it's joe. and i still loved him. duh.
- i guess i'll see you around later? i asked and he nodded.
i walked out of the theater and turned around the corner to get to my room. it was really quiet in the halls of the hotel, it almost creeped me out. i slowly waked back to my room and got my ipod out of my bag and sat down on the couch. it got kind of lonely sometimes, seeing i was the practically the only girl around. always a single room, no one to share girl stuff with... i put my ipod on shuffle. a smile crept onto my lips as a song reminded me of my dad and i saw his face in front of me. he was the reason i was a guitar technician. he'd been one for as long as i could remember. my parents divorced when i was young and i spent most of my childhood on the road with my dad. and he was the one who brought me along a few years back when i first met joe. and he was supposed to be here now but a bad fall down the hallway stairs and a busted knee later... here i was. it had been too late for the management to find someone and since i already knew the job pretty well. and the band. i closed my eyes and tried not to picture joe's face in front of me. it was hard though. i was normally an independent type of girl who didn't get involved in any love drama or... drama at all. i kept to myself. but joe... he was different. good different. and i liked him and his brothers and the band for not treating me like a girl. i mean - i was a girl, but if they were to treat me differently just because i was a girl, i wouldn't be able to do my job. i wanted to be one of them, and most of the time i felt like i was. john taylor was awesome. we spent a lot of time together, talking music and guitars... he was an unbelievably great musician and for him to trust me with his stuff and for thinking i did a good job... it meant a lot. and i was glad joe and i had called a truce. i couldn't take the awkwardness anymore, it was unbearable. i really, really liked joe and i wasn't the same naïve person i was last year. i wasn't about to fall for him again and have my heart broken. i was going to be his friend. i still had feelings for him though and that was something i would have to handle every day. but i knew better now. and at the end of the day; joe's heart would probably always belong to riley. if i started believing something else, i would only be fooling myself. even though joe said it himself, he wasn't sure how he felt about riley now... ugh, i smacked myself on the forehead. who was i kidding? i was in this joe jonas mess again, whether i wanted to or not. but the question isn't whether or not i like joe. it's if i act on it or just let it be?
| | Tags : Full, Moon, Crazy, See, You, In, The, Dark, Jonas, Brothers, JB, fanfiction, jessicannamaria, OneTrueMedia |
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