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dear nick and jesse,
i know nick has said he had a really rough time after his ex. i was wondering i you could give me some advice.
don't get me wrong my fiancee ******* is awesome we are doing great and its a very healthy relationship.
you see what i want your opinion on , both of you if you would please, is that well i am going through a rough time too.
when i was13 all the way up untill 19 i was a cutter yes i admit it i have since stopped.the reasons are to many to count but the mains are cuase since birth my father was disabled and heavily overweight that was his fault but he was disabled before i was born every doctor said he would have to lose weight before even excercizing. he h had a number of medical problems not one doctor in the state of florida would do any surgery on him ( he had a condition called cellulitis its a infection that cuases swelling, rashes, stiness, burning sensations, pain, numbness and eventually if it gets to far you may have to amputate) unfortunately my father was a diabettic after he being forced to spend the rest of his life in bed by the time i hit the age of 11 and he was in and out of the hospitol more then 3 to 5 times a year.
my father finally did die two months after i graduated from high school its been almost 3 years. my mother did hit depression and she did go for therapy but do to her childhood and her depression she thinks everyone is out to take advantage of her in some shape or fasion. she even tells me how horrible of a daughter i am weekly.
my mother is basically disowning me cuase she feels like my father abonded her after he died. she somehow thinks i am the worst daughter in the world even though all i have ever done is get a couple of bad grades and cut myself before.
i have talked to my fiancee about all of this and my question is how can i get my mother to talk to me, understand me and stop thinking i am such a bad person? and since my fiancee has had to deal with all this too how can i get him to understand i am still having problems with my fathers death, my mothers disownment, and ofcourse my struggle of finding myself and trying not to fall back on cutting?
short version:
how can i get my mother to realize i'm not out to get her ?
how to get my fiancee to realize although he has heard the situation before i still need a shoulder to cry on sometimes and a little support?
how to communicate that although i have stopped cuttng that yes it is in my past, its a part of me and that becuase he hasn't gone through that but i need his support and that cutting is indeed a addiction just like eatdisorders, drugs, alcohol and many others. even though you have stopped when a bad day hits its still a temptation?
i know its long and i am so sorry but i need atleast an opinion could you answer on message if not if you do use this one your show then please don't use my name.
i just feel so lost and abandoned and i ned asman opnions i can get in order to get an onwhat to do
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